Years ago I was reading an interview of a guy named David Wilcock. David is an author and has a cool website at https://divinecosmos.com. When he was younger he worked in a mental health institution providing care to people with various types of handicaps. I gather is was a stressful environment for everyone involved.
One takeaway from the interview was about how the behaviour of the people at the hospital changed simply by him holding an idea of love and forgiveness in his mind. David would think about and repeat the two part phrase ‘I love you, I forgive you’ internally in his mind. He Just put his attention on the idea of love and forgiveness and the level of anxiety and stress the patients exhibited in the hospital dropped.
I thought that would be really interesting if a mental activity or state that you hold inside your mind could have a noticeable affect on others around you. So I tried it.
On the first occasion I laid down on my bed and relaxed for a few minutes and begun with a low level of effort or intensity the phrase ‘I love you, I forgive you.’ with a pause over and over. On each iteration I put my focus on my solar plexus / abdomen to represent myself and I would visualize virtual hands to point. Almost immediately I felt what I would describe as a trance like state that was calming relaxing and left open a space for me to continue with the process.
After about thirty minutes within the trance state I started to feel really good almost euphoric. I continued this for about two hours over the next few days and I got to a point where I had to stop because the feeling of trance and euphoria were so strong that it was making me nauseous like I had been riding a rollercoaster for an extended period of time.
During the process something interesting came up while repeating the ‘I forgive you.’ portion. Memories from my past all the way back to my childhood of either things that I had done that were embarrassing or hurtful to others. Because I was in a trance state they played like in a dream and popped up in front of me from nothing. Most of these issues that came up I was able to reconcile them and appreciate why I did them and how they changed me in a way that I can let go of. But there were a few in particular that were not easy to actually forgive myself for so I just accepted that I can’t address it right away and then let all thoughts go for a while and came back to it later. I feel like I am ok with all of the issues that came up previously and I haven’t had any new ones show up for a while now.
One effect that I noticed as a result of this right away is that when I am sick with a cold or other illness this will reduce the recovery time by about four times easily. I now often do this through the day for five minutes in addition to longer times when I can lay down.
I have tried other forms of meditation with other very unique experiences in the past but this one has been the most consistent in terms of effects. I wanted to share this and see if anyone else has the same experience.
This is more of a how to based on my experience. Additionally I believe this has had a lot of interesting results magically manifest themselves in my life that I will continue to experiment with and write about later.
I was speaking with a person close to me that has been diagnosed with manic depression. In the past they attempted suicide several times and would say that a lot of their life has been consumed with issues from their past that inhibited to varying degrees socializing, school, work and relationships. We have known each other for almost a decade and as a young person they have undergone a significant amount of change in that time. This recent conversation was insightful because it painted a picture for me of what they think day to day, how they view life and what they want out of it.
One question they brought up was why some people experience less suffering and it cripples them more? Shouldn’t they feel lucky that the extent of their trauma was less?
It’s common for people to judge others and themselves for being deserving or qualification based on how hard their life is. This can happen in a wide variety of situations, some people feel more deserving of a raise because they have been working longer, or an opinion is more deserving because they suffered more oppression in a particular area, or others having more than them, or a a sense of entitlement because of effort given to a bad relationship.
How much you suffer only matters to you. There are no points awarded for how hard your life is, only for the results you develop or the lessons you take away.
There are always two different directions you can take, one that is worse than where you are, i.e. negative thoughts of past experience/jealousy of others and the other is better, i.e. gratitude for what you have or leaned and optimism for what can come.
This person has a past experience that is causing trauma that they are unable to reflect on without being consumed with depression. Depression can be like being in a pit, the farther you go down there the harder to get out of it becomes.
I look to see aspects in myself in others. So when others say they are struggling with certain issues of blocks in their life that they can’t get past because they are unable to forgive themselves or accept the past and let go in order to move on I offer my opinion in a way that also applies to me in the subjects I think I also have the same difficulties.
My portion of the conversation was in dealing with the day to day elements of despair is to let go of the thoughts that take you down a road of further negative thoughts and to look for a thought that brings them just one step better in feeling.
I also suggested that they establish a routine to regularly hold better feeling thoughts so that there is force to break the past condition. They said they are afraid to touch or change their feeling for fear that they will fall into an abyss of depression and not be able to get out. What they hope for is a life of being just ok.
It’s very interesting to have a conversation with someone that tells you my problem is X Y and Z but I can’t think about those issues or my life will fall into ruin. Obviously if a long standing substantial issue with a fundamental part of who we are problem was easily digestible it wouldn’t take long to work through. Additionally our personal preferences make it easy to negatively judge other peoples choices because they are not what we would do. There is to them a lot of value in spending the time to experience, and process difficult growth lessons.
They are doing what I wanted them to do. Their life is significantly better than it was three and four years ago. While I would consider their current state rather neutral on the spectrum the progress they made over the past three years up to now is huge. It’s easy for me to want others to make rapid progress but time is theirs to go on their journey and spend it on the things they choose and i’m happy for them.
I wanted to share some interesting observations about money. I think a lot of people make assumptions about it that don’t make much sense.
The title is a play on words from the saying love it or hate it but the strange thing about money in particular is that people do hate it and love it at the same time.
People want money but don’t want it at the same time. Everyone wants a lot of money but as soon as people get it they want to get rid of it. If you put a stack of cash under your mattress people would say that is totally irresponsible, someone could steal it or there could be a fire and destroy it. If you instead put that cash in the bank the tellar will tell you you need to invest it because it’s not doing anything for you just sitting there. I.e. you need to trade money for somthing else that isn’t money. Such as a share in a company, a bond as a promise to repay or a physical asset that might appreciate. Inflation destroys the value of money but no one says it like that.
Using money is like putting watter in a bucket with holes in the bottom that everyone thinks of as beeing super important. It’s commical and tragic as most of my friends are spending their entire lives working to make money just to live while not understanding what money is or how it works.
The thing most people don’t know is that dollars are created as dept by banks in the form of loans as they are needed. Most people think that dollars represent the labour they traded to earn them and are simultaniously frustarated at rising prices and living costs. The truth is that while most people work for money, some people / companies / banks just create it from nothing and charge interest. The really tricky part that most people don’t grasp is that because banks issue the currency with interest attached there is always more money owed than exists. It’s like a game of musical chairs. This is why economists are fearfull of deflation in the economy. As soon as the currency supply starts to contract people become fearful and stop spending on non essentials in order to pay down depts. Unfortunately there are more debts owed than there are dollars to pay them off so all available currency quickly dissapears and you end up with a depression.
This means that there is a hidden penalty for holding debts that compounds with greater levels most people don’t realize.
What to do about it? Save as much as possible. There is a sliding scale between your networth being negative and positive. The more negative or in debt you are the more of your life you have to spend paying other people. Conversely the higher you are on the net worth scale the more easily money can come to you. Be on the positive side of the debt equity threshold.
There are a lot of social conditioning beliefs that we have to spend our money and finance debts to the same level as our income. In my area the average house price is $830,000.00 and everyone strives to buy one and finance it with thrity years of mortgadge payments. That is $4000 per month. Half of the payments to a mordgage go to interest charges by the way. If not house then a car, toys, or vacations etc.
Reducing your expenses has a greater effect on your financial future than increasing your income in some cases.
There are a group of people that save large portions of their income and share their experiences online. They are known as the Fire community and it stands for financial independence and early retirement. Some popular bloggers on the subject include https://www.mrmoneymustache.com (US) and https://www.millennial-revolution.com (Canada). Check them out and leave me your comments.
I am looking to find likeminded people that share the same interest and passion.
My focus this year is on personal growth. To me this means reading on new subjects, building things people want, and most importantly meeting new people and sharing life together.
Most of the people that I know are limited in what they can do because of the amount of free time they have. They don’t have the opportunity to spend extended amounts of time doing things that would make them happier or allow them to learn or transform beyond what a certain basic level allows. Most people have a certain number of hollidays or a limited amount of money to travel or go to conferences as an example. Even the people I know that are high net worth are also highly leveraged with liabilities that bring them into comperable levels of work commitment and the stresses that come along with that.
How much of your day is really yours?
I have long been aware of common sayings about money not brining happiness or once you get a bump in lifestyle you will just acclimate to it and then feel just the same as you did before. I don’t agree with this though. I think this only applies to us when we are not growing or moving forward as people. Growth isn’t about comfort though and is mostly doing less with targeted action and letting go of bad habbits.
Are big changes realistic?
What does it feel like to hold an extravigantly rediculus idea of your future that feels impossible to achieve but unreasonably commit 100% to it? Uncomfortable and isolating, but in a good way that makes you feel alive.
There is an interesting phenominon I believe that if you could offer random people a life that they want more than any other they will sabatoge it if it is too far outside their comfort zone.
The difficulty in intending to change your life drastically also comes with a greater reward than can be gained by the regular toils of daily labour. This is because that impossible idea in your head will eventually and quickly become real and part of regular living as long as you hold it with mental certanty and conviction.
I made some investment descissions over the last ten years that brought me to financial independence. While the decape prior was pay cheque to pay cheque, I spent most of the day working just to have an hour or two to myself in the evenings. Now I have all the time to do what I want and need. The nuts and bolts of the investments are built on a strategy that was the result of several algorythmic learning systems evolving over the years.
One interesting observation about stepping through financial goal boundaries is that the expectation of what it would be like has nothing to do with reality. I had a belief that once I reached a certain dollar amount of investments I could live off the interest and then I would feel free. However when that happened to me and I reached that dollar amount I didn’t feel free I said to myself when I have twice that number then I will feel free. Then if the stock market crashes I will be ok because I can also invest in these other assets. Somewhere around the time when my investments reached just about twice what I needed to live on I was fired from my job. I wanted to leave but really was stuck in a mindset of conservative fear. I’m still trying to break off pieces of my personality that are over conservative to the detrement of my well being.
What is it like to be financially independent? It’s amazing, It’s a new normal and at the same time it’s an environment perfectly suited to figuring out what is important to my life now so that I can go do that. However I don’t know many people that are also in this situation.
What am I doing…
1 Ongoing projects, some I will talk about later. One is a car company I am starting called http://opencarproject.org. This is a passion project and I love working on it.
2) Network of investors to share or discuss investment strategies that helped me become financially independent so that more can do the same. The investment strategy I use is available to anyone on the website http://algomega.com
3) Youtube vlog I plan on starting to capture life, learning and fun with the intention of connecting with like minded others for growth and friendship.
Topics i’m brewing on for the blog and vlog inlude: health, fitness, travel, cars, money, investing, humor, food, relationships and more to come.
I have been thinking recently about this idea that there is a threshold in our thinking between two extremes of possibility that bifurcates the course of our lives into two completely different directions. We all fall into different ranges but the end result is that everyone having thoughts more or less than fifty percent one way or the other will be grouped with everyone else of like mind. The fascinating thing is that it appears people in each group do not see what the other group see despite occupying the same world and even interacting with each other.
The distinction that separates us is based on this world view.
Side A: Life happens to us because it’s outside our control and
Side B: I’m learning how to navigate life because this is what I choose.
This was sparked by several recent conversations I had with people while they were telling me about problems they were having in their life. For each case I explored with them some actions they could take to get advice, explore and test options, re-evaluate the role of the cause of the issue in their life. I was just exploring some ideas not trying to lecture or preach but I noticed they would always reset the track at the beginning each time and restate the problem statement as they had begun it. I tried backing up the context to come to some common ground because I felt the point I was trying to explain was being overlooked but in those moments at least these strangers didn’t want to let go of the way there story was told.
Did their problems really matter? Absolutely they were real problems that would drive anyone crazy. Has anyone else had the same issue and resolved them? Yup but it seemed simply describing an option to them did not change their intention on what they planned to do.
If you are not looking for change or new possibilities you will not find them. This gives the people in each group the illusion that the world only exists the way they see it.
On the extreme end of side B people exhibit a force of will that is total with complete disregard for feedback from their experience of reality. Their goal is all consuming and they view it as the only thing deserving of their attention. When or if their goal doesn’t materialize they don’t even observe it. These people can appear crazy to everyone in the middle.
The opposite end of the spectrum side A are extreme pessimists. They don’t try stretch goals, settle with what they think they can have without ever contemplating change. They view people who take risks as foolish and others with excess as completely unrelated to their way of thinking.
Obviously this is a generalization and we as individuals fall into different levels of this spectrum for each area of our life. What I have noticed from past experience is that the crazy things that seem beyond impossible actually happen for real when you hold them in your mind as certain to such a degree that there is nothing else. And conversely it’s impossible to move from a mindset of lack being placed on us by others into prosperity. No matter how much effort you put into, the universe meets that force with an equal opposite pushback. Thats the interesting key to me, how do you take the things in your life you believe to be impossible that you want to have or explore and cross the threshold? It’s hard, when I start out on one or the other it trends toward the extreme in that direction. Crossing back requires a big commitment, the ability to let go to things that feel essential and a leap of faith. It’s almost as if the trends towards helplessness become a part of you so letting go of them really is like jumping off a cliff.
This is a follow up on the idea that everyone wants to be rich but most people don’t prioritize it and don’t achieve it. I touched on this in yesterdays post titled Financial Independence that discusses a life transition I am starting.
The order of priority is important. Robert Keyosaki wrote in his book Rich Dad Poor Dad that we all want to be rich but not everyone achieves it. Most people put comfort and security ahead of being rich. Most people underestimate the potential upside of choosing rich heavy actions and overestimate the risks associated with those actions.
Its been a while since I last posted and a lot has changed for me in the past couple of years. Going forward I am thinking about starting a YouTube channel for interactive dialog, both solo and with others, as it relates to some projects I am working on and in order to share progress and to create more fun experiences.
Eckhart Tolle comes to mind, and others with riches can feel perpetually empty, the take away is that we have lots of examples of others achieving different results from varied mindsets and actions.
Changing directions in life can be difficult. If you’re like me you can spend years working on a career path, a business venture, a personal or business relationship or an investment strategy.
These activities require a certain level of commitment. You can’t just put them down and pick them back up again and generally have to focus your energy, time or money to the exclusion of others.
At some point if what you are doing isn’t working out you will probably start to feel the uncomfortable sensation that something is wrong. You might recognize that you have to change but that would mean forfeiting money or abandoning progress towards your goal and starting over from scratch. There is also going to be uncertainty about finding a replacement and what that might look like in your life.
It’s easy to personally identify with a routine that we spend years with.
In the past I have spent many years at a job that wasn’t right for me before finally leaving. I didn’t want to quit because I worried that I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills if I couldn’t find another and that if I did it would be another bad fit. In hindsight staying was a bad decision. I wasn’t satisfied, I was working harder to fit mismatched needs/skills and my employer didn’t know that they should be looking for a better fit for them.
I have also spent many years on several failed business ventures both individually and in partnerships. The moment when you realize that it won’t be viable can be challenging. All of the time and energy spent on something that will never pay off or meet expectations can be a let down.
The same applies to personal relationships. Over time our needs and expectations can change. Sometimes this means that once compatible matches become incompatible.
It’s interesting to think about what other ramifications in your life are caused by pushing through when you could always just go around.
If what you are doing has become a familiar routine and acts as a your go to plan to achieve your goals it can be hard to let go. If you had to give it up right now then you’re back at square one and have to start from the beginning. If you know your path is not viable the worst thing you could do is just keep plugging away. This is known as the sunk cost fallacy. When you rationalize that you can’t quit now because you have invested so much already. Even if logically starting over is the better option. Its easy to see as an outsider but not so much as it applies to yourself.
Even if there is no obvious replacement the best thing to do is accept that what you’re doing isn’t working. Give yourself the full resources of time and mental faculty to work on finding a new better direction. Let go of what you don’t want to make room for what you do.
On the occasions where I pulled the plug on multi year projects, relationships, jobs and investments it was personally challenging each in a unique way. What helped me in these times is to refocus on my end goals and imagine what it will be like to achieve them instead of focusing on this gap between where I was and where I wanted to be. I formalized my new objectives to give them a place in my mind. I bought notebooks just for writing notes on each goal and carried them with me or kept them by my bedside table. Every time I think of an idea, I write it down. I cleaned up any loose ends with customers, contracts and other obligations so that I wouldn’t have to spend any more time on them. I also bought a pack of post it notes to write ideas and stuck them to a wall in my home. I would constantly add or remove and sort the ideas by best fit for me, practicality and other factors. Figuring out what I needed to do was the highest priority for me and I changed my living environment to reflect that. The post its on a wall are always easily accessible and act as a reminder to take action.
There is an old joke about smokers saying they aren’t quitters as if to imply that quitting is bad. If follow through is holding you back then perseverance will serve you but there is no point going down the wrong road. Being clear about the difference between those two extremes is the key. Pushing though or letting go, thats up to you.
Your environment is almost certainly affecting your mood and productivity. You can make big improvements and achieve new successes by making simple changes to your work and living spaces. The idea is to choose specific objects, words, imagery, smells and music that you have a positive association to and place them in the areas you live. The intention is to create subliminal triggers that subconsciously influence you to act and improve on goals. These could include working on business ventures, doing chores, thinking more positively, getting more exercice, generating a million dollars or eliminating bad behaviours. It’s a good way to start something new or improve on what your currently doing.
The process starts by choosing some goals and laying out reminders for yourself. For each of your goals come up with related written words and phrases, images or objects and place them in your work and home spaces to guide action. Make them part of your daily experience. The reminders you choose should be associated with a feeling you want to foster but can include itemized todo lists. This means using words and pictures that you would experience with the successful completion of your goals.
The magic of this exercise is that the mind absorbs your experiences and influences your thoughts and actions without you even being aware of it. The semantic meaning of written words and images doesn’t even have to be fully comprehended each time you look at them. You just have to be exposed to the reminders and your reaction will be subconscious.
This process will also help you remove blocks to a more productive day. If you find yourself deliberating on decisions then adding more positive influences will encourage action.
Preparation is critical to success. Because we are purposefully trying to encourage automatic behaviours we need to make sure those behaviours are chosen thoughtfully ahead of time. The reminders placed in your environment will also form habits and allow your subconscious to anticipate and plan moment to moment what to do next. This creates a calming effect on your overall state.
We have an emotional budget of decision making power available to us each day. If we exceed our limit we hit burnout and start making bad decisions. When you’re running low on energy you slow down and loose focus. Optimize your day by dedicating time once a week to choose tasks for goals. I.e. if you want to start going to the gym every day but find it difficult remove some unnecessary steps. Keeping all of the things you need in a bag by your front door so all you have to do is grab it and your ready. Then when you decide to go everything you need is in that bad and there is no time for deliberation and hesitation.
You can support new actions with rewards while transitioning to new behaviours. This can include tasty prepared food items, music you enjoy and planned activities that have pleasant experiences like walking through a park.
Here are some specific ideas for implementing reminders:
- Use post -it notes, a chalk or white board or custom paper/card stock to hang reminder words on the walls. You could also create artwork with pictures and large print words to serve both artistic and influential roles.
- Set up your computer to cycle through motivational desktop pictures.
- If you share a space with others and don’t want to disrupt the feel you can change the medium and format to fit. This might mean todo lists on notepads in an office and framed word art work at home.
- Create a board and place on it all of the associated images and text goals that you are working towards.
- The size of text you prepare can also be used to influence the priority you have attached to it. Place multiple reminders to reinforce the message.
- When using descriptive words or todo lists include words you associate with positive feelings. This way you will think of the feelings along with action goal based words. Your subconscious is not logical like your conscious mint and thinks more in terms of feelings.
- Smell and scents can act as powerful reminder.
Use location to your advantage so that the objects you choose support the type of behaviour you want for each areas.
- Work – At work you may want to create a mood of alertness, concentration and low distraction. Some starting ideas: Supplement low light levels with a lamp. Ambient non vocal music or flowing water feature. Light energy rich foods. Organization folders.
- Bedroom – In your bedroom you may want to create a restful calming mood. Some starting ideas: Add a dimmer light. Use words like Relax, Calm Rest. Add smells with plants or scents.
- Living Areas – In your living spaces you may want to create a mood for brainstorming, health or long term planning. Some starting ideas: Use words, photos that support income/achievement goals or activity planning. Prepare a gym bag or healthy snack food next to written words or other objects.
When using written words choose the ones that inspire and make you feel good as well as words that describe your goals. Identify specific goals that you would like to achieve and select the words and images for each. Imagine yourself having achieved the goal and choose words that describe that state.
Ideas for working options:
- $ 10 K / mo
- Enjoying Physical Fitness
- 4 Dates Out Each Month
The reverse of positive reminders also applies to negative influences in your life. Try removing things from your environment that negatively affect your actions. This may be clutter, excess furniture, excessive noise, unhealthy foods, TV, destructive relationships etc.
Optimize for results. Every once in a while review how you feel about the spaces you have created. Try changing the wording and placement over time. Some things may not work for you so try new things and experiment.
I have found this exercise very useful for goal achievement after just starting recently and noticed a few things. It’s good to have lots of reminders everywhere so that a lot of your time is spent around them. I don’t pay attention to them often I just let them be. Most of the reminders are subtle and just appear to be decoration by others. The build quality of words and pictures on any wall make a big difference. When using post-it notes or low quality card stock I notice it feels like clutter after a while so i’m switching to using frames and other materials.
Let me know if you try any of these and any improvements you notice.