I have been thinking recently about this idea that there is a threshold in our thinking between two extremes of possibility that bifurcates the course of our lives into two completely different directions. We all fall into different ranges but the end result is that everyone having thoughts more or less than fifty percent one way or the other will be grouped with everyone else of like mind. The fascinating thing is that it appears people in each group do not see what the other group see despite occupying the same world and even interacting with each other.
The distinction that separates us is based on this world view.
Side A: Life happens to us because it’s outside our control and
Side B: I’m learning how to navigate life because this is what I choose.
This was sparked by several recent conversations I had with people while they were telling me about problems they were having in their life. For each case I explored with them some actions they could take to get advice, explore and test options, re-evaluate the role of the cause of the issue in their life. I was just exploring some ideas not trying to lecture or preach but I noticed they would always reset the track at the beginning each time and restate the problem statement as they had begun it. I tried backing up the context to come to some common ground because I felt the point I was trying to explain was being overlooked but in those moments at least these strangers didn’t want to let go of the way there story was told.
Did their problems really matter? Absolutely they were real problems that would drive anyone crazy. Has anyone else had the same issue and resolved them? Yup but it seemed simply describing an option to them did not change their intention on what they planned to do.
If you are not looking for change or new possibilities you will not find them. This gives the people in each group the illusion that the world only exists the way they see it.
On the extreme end of side B people exhibit a force of will that is total with complete disregard for feedback from their experience of reality. Their goal is all consuming and they view it as the only thing deserving of their attention. When or if their goal doesn’t materialize they don’t even observe it. These people can appear crazy to everyone in the middle.
The opposite end of the spectrum side A are extreme pessimists. They don’t try stretch goals, settle with what they think they can have without ever contemplating change. They view people who take risks as foolish and others with excess as completely unrelated to their way of thinking.
Obviously this is a generalization and we as individuals fall into different levels of this spectrum for each area of our life. What I have noticed from past experience is that the crazy things that seem beyond impossible actually happen for real when you hold them in your mind as certain to such a degree that there is nothing else. And conversely it’s impossible to move from a mindset of lack being placed on us by others into prosperity. No matter how much effort you put into, the universe meets that force with an equal opposite pushback. Thats the interesting key to me, how do you take the things in your life you believe to be impossible that you want to have or explore and cross the threshold? It’s hard, when I start out on one or the other it trends toward the extreme in that direction. Crossing back requires a big commitment, the ability to let go to things that feel essential and a leap of faith. It’s almost as if the trends towards helplessness become a part of you so letting go of them really is like jumping off a cliff.